So my lovely friends and family who graciously support this journey continue to ask me where have the "faith" posts been?! The last time I was here, I talked about feeling spiritually dead. While I definitely don't feel that way anymore, I have been in a consistent rut, and just haven't felt like I could give an inspiration while feeling so BLAH myself.
It's crazy how the things that hurt you the most are the things that you are constantly tested with. Besides my relationship with Christ, my family, and my ambitions are the most important things in my life. And left and right, it seems that I've been hit with trial after trial after trial. To sum it up, I would call it disappointment. We often feel like things should go one way, and when they don't we feel let down by ourselves, the people we love, and even God.
See me, I'm little Mrs. Perfectionist (Oh hush, and act surprised!) and I've had my adulthood planned out since my early college days. By now, I'd be married with two beautiful children, have an incredibly successful and prosperous career, and would be spending every waking moment with my amazing husband and family. Goals, right?
But life has a way of pranking us and never goes as planned. I find myself struggling every day to go to a mediocre paying job that I no longer find fulfilling, having mini mental breakdowns and wondering how and why people would ever birth more than one child, and seeing my husband in passing as I come and he goes. It's hard. It's not what I envisioned. And I'm admittedly discouraged.
I've sat in the slump for the past couple of months with no real answer. But then it just hit me. I thought to myself: Why is all of this happening? What is it that God wants you to see in the midst of this storm?
After taking more time to think and pray and spend time with God, I understand. And with understanding comes deliverance and joy. I realize there is a purpose for all of this that I couldn't see because I've been too busy complaining.
For example, perhaps God has me planted in my career to change the life of that ONE child who desperately needs love and guidance. Maybe he has me isolated from everyone to spend more time with him. Possibly raising my daughter with little help is showing me the strength I never knew existed in myself. Maybe all of this is for a greater good.
I could be completely wrong. This could all just be life being thrown at me for no good reason. But I choose to look through rose colored glasses. I choose to believe the best. I choose to see the beauty in every situation.
If you're facing a storm, know that there is peace in the midst of it. You're never alone, for God is always in your corner. Ask him what it is he wants you to learn during those times that feel so hard. Knowing HE has a perfect plan will always ease your mind, and make that storm seem like nothing. After all, you belong to the one who calms the seas. Rest easy.