Whew! It feels like it's been awhile since I hopped over to the FAITH side of my blog. I apologize that it's been so long, but honestly, I've just been stuck.
I've literally sat down multiple times looking at scriptures for inspiration, or thinking about things people would want to hear but nothing would come to me. I could've easily been fake deep, but that's not who I am. That's not what this blog is about. So instead, let me just keep it real.
In this walk with Christ, there are moments when I feel SO full of life and so motivated to serve him and share my love for him with the world. In these times, I feel on top of the world and nothing can stop that amazing rush of joy each day. But in all honesty, there are times when I don't feel that at all.
It hit me while sitting in church some weeks ago. As my pastor was teaching, my mind began to wander ALL OVER THE PLACE. I begin to think about what I needed to do when I got home, how I was going to style my hair next, what my next blog post should be about, what I needed to buy for vacation, you name it. I thought about everything but Jesus, and I walked out that building feeling completely empty.
I realized pretty quickly that I was on my way to becoming spiritually dead. My motivation for Christ was wavering, and for me, that's a pretty scary thing. For me, it means that my life is out of order, and I've forgotten my first priority.
I've spent the past few weeks just thinking about where the disconnect is for me, and I've summed it to being too busy for God. With work, being a wife, being a mom, being a daughter/sister/friend and trying to pursue my dreams I'm just incredibly busy and instead of asking God to lead me and help me take on each task, I've excluded him from the equation and found myself in a hot mess of exhaustion and emptiness.
Needless to say, I've been less than motivated in many areas of my life. It never fails that when I stray a bit, everything else just doesn't flow like it should. Spiritual death can often feel like a loss emotionally, and that's exactly where I'm at.
So while I don't yet have the word to encourage anyone at this moment, I can say that I am so glad that even when we neglect him, God still leads us right back where we need to be. I've asked God to forgive me for forgetting how much I need him. I've begun to set time aside daily to spend time with him. Most importantly, I've asked him to AWAKEN my love for him and return my passion for his way and his will.
I'm realizing that it's ok to be real in this faith walk. I'm human, and if God forgives me, I can forgive myself for not being perfect. If you're feeling uninspired, or empty take a moment to do a spirit check. Don't allow yourself to become spiritually dead. Awaken that love and desire to chase all that God has for you!
Have a great week, FABS!
Psalms 51:10 Make a clean heart in me, O God; give me a right spirit again.