Humbled!

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Heyyyy my loves!!! Cue Bryson Tiller...cause I’m back and I’m BETTER! I’m so excited to relaunch my blog! I thought the best way to start is to take it back to why I left for so long. 

 

Rewind to December of 2018. At barely 31, I was feeling myself wayyyy too much. I mean, I had the perfect little family, career, figure, friends, and sense of fashion! Everything in my life seemed so “perfect”. Sadly though, I felt like it was all my doing that created this amazing life, and I forgot about God’s grace.  

2018 literally started day one with life changing tragedy after tragedy. Everything I thought I’d perfectly placed together rapidly fell apart. Though I had many things, I had nothing to emotionally carry me through. The high horse I was riding on came crashing down faster than I could ever imagine. 

Of course for awhile I played victim, and continuously asked God how he could let me go through so much? Why He didn’t think I deserved to be happy. After time, I stopped looking at the loss...and discovered the beautiful lesson. 

I’ve learned that humility doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself. It means thinking of yourself less. I continue to be confident in the hard work I put in each day and the woman I am. What’s different is that I KNOW that who I am, all that I am, all that I have is because God’s grace sustains me. I’m reminded of each dark day and how in those moments when I had no one, I had him. 

Im truly humbled by the loss because I’ve learned I’m not invincible.  I’m truly grateful for the lessons because I’ve learned to depend on God alone. I’m truly better because the strength I’ve gained will push me to move mountains in my life! 

I’m so excited to be back to what I love, with new joy, new enthusiasm, and a new perspective on womanhood, love, motherhood, and style! 

Thank you all for being patient. Thank you for encouraging me continuously. Stay tuned for my newfound journey of faith! 

 

Crys

Enough is Enough

Heyyy, FABS! Happy 2018! I can’t even believe it’s February, and that time is on super speed this year. I apologize for being away so long, but actually I don’t because I’ve been needing a big mental break. Regardless, I’m back with something that has been really heavy on my heart. 

I thought 2017 was the toughest year I’d ever experience, but 2018 was just waiting in the bushes ready to jump out with allllll the bull. To say the past month has been rough would be an extremely severe understatement.  

In the midst of these continuous storms, I started noticing an overwhelming pattern amongt myself and other ladies going through very similar, and even very different situations.  

So often, when we as women are faced with adversity, we have a terrible tendency to try to pinpoint a personal flaw that could be the reason for the problem we’re enduring. If you’re not pretending to be perfect (no longer needed, just so you know), then you’ve probably been here. 

Just the other day, I was thinking...”maybe if I would’ve, or if I hadn’t done...” as if my actions or lack thereof could’ve saved me from anything that has come at me.  

Let’s be clear. Karma is real. You reap what you sow. But I’m speaking on situations we can’t control. Being blindsided by something that seems so undeserving. 

I’ve heard it all too many times. Women soul searching to figure out where they went wrong when really they did everything right.  

The danger of these thoughts is feeling inadequate. Feeling like you aren’t worthy. Feeling like you to need to be or do more. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH for those types of thoughts.  

The truth is, you can’t control everything. As a matter of fact, the ONLY things you can control are your words, actions, and thoughts. Everything else is unpredictable, and may not always work in your favor.  

I encourage you to take some time to reflect on the last time you self blamed. Ask yourself why? Ask yourself if you truly planted seeds to reap the harvest you received. If you did, be accountable and change your actions. But if you didn’t, stop those thoughts of self blame DEAD in their tracks.  

I pray that every beautiful woman reading this knows that you are ENOUGH just as you are. Learn to accept or reject the things/people/circumstances you can’t change. Change the ones you can by looking within. Always have the wisdom to know the difference between the two. 

Have a blessed week, my loves!  

I.AM.ENOUGH   

I.AM.ENOUGH

 

So Long...

There is only one day left before a new year begins and all down my timelines, I see countless posts about resolutions and how “different” people will be once the clock strikes twelve.


I get it. With the end of one year, comes reflection. And that’s the way it should be. But I can’t help to think of the fact that by February, most of these so called changes are long forgotten, and we’ve settled back into our old ways.


So instead of creating these resolutions, I wanted reflect on what I’ve learned throughout this year.


2017 has easily been one of THE toughest years I’ve ever endured. Hands down. I could write a book on what I’ve been through, but I’ll spare the dramatics. Long story short, my career was emotionally toxic, I felt detached from many friends I’d known for years, and I spent most of the year feeling lonely and invisible


It got hard. And truthfully, many times I let the circumstances defeat me. I gave up, only to get back up and try again. I tried new things, but felt so much disappointment when it didn’t work out how I imagined, or when things felt out of my own control.


Sadly, even my faith wavered. 2017 literally shook me to my core. I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t hearing my prayers. Why he let me get hurt by the people closest to me. Why he didn’t allow me to move in the direction I THOUGHT was best...


This year was a year of isolation, and for much of the year I didn’t get it but I do now. In order to do what you’ve been called to do...sometimes you have to separate yourself. Sometimes you have to walk alone. And you have to be ok with that.


More importantly, this year taught me that I’m not in control. That’s where my faith has to take over. Trusting God’s plan, and especially his timing is hard when you are used to being in control and having the perfect plan in place.


As I close this year, I’m truly grateful. Each tear I cried was nourishment to the harvest I’ve now reaped. In the final hours of this year, I’ve had a turn around in my career, I have learned to appreciate genuine friendships, and I know that I’m never alone, for God is with me.


As you close this year and start a new chapter, take the time to reflect on God’s faithfulness. No matter HOW HARD your year may have seemed, you made it! A fresh start is just around the corner, and you have the choice to make it beautiful by living each moment with a heart of gratitude.


So long to the memories of 2017. Have a safe and happy new year FABS!

MIDST OF THE STORM

So my lovely friends and family who graciously support this journey continue to ask me where have the "faith" posts been?! The last time I was here, I talked about feeling spiritually dead. While I definitely don't feel that way anymore, I have been in a consistent rut, and just haven't felt like I could give an inspiration while feeling so BLAH myself. 

It's crazy how the things that hurt you the most are the things that you are constantly tested with. Besides my relationship with Christ, my family, and my ambitions are the most important things in my life. And left and right, it seems that I've been hit with trial after trial after trial. To sum it up, I would call it disappointment. We often feel like things should go one way, and when they don't we feel let down by ourselves, the people we love, and even God. 

See me, I'm little Mrs. Perfectionist (Oh hush, and act surprised!) and I've had my adulthood planned out since my early college days. By now, I'd be married with two beautiful children, have an incredibly successful and prosperous career, and would be spending every waking moment with my amazing husband and family. Goals, right?

But life has a way of pranking us and never goes as planned. I find myself struggling every day to go to a mediocre paying job that I no longer find fulfilling, having mini mental breakdowns and wondering how and why people would ever birth more than one child, and seeing my husband in passing as I come and he goes. It's hard. It's not what I envisioned. And I'm admittedly discouraged. 

I've sat in the slump for the past couple of months with no real answer. But then it just hit me. I thought to myself: Why is all of this happening? What is it that God wants you to see in the midst of this storm?

After taking more time to think and pray and spend time with God, I understand. And with understanding comes deliverance and joy. I realize there is a purpose for all of this that I couldn't see because I've been too busy complaining. 

For example, perhaps God has me planted in my career to change the life of that ONE child who desperately needs love and guidance. Maybe he has me isolated from everyone to spend more time with him. Possibly raising my daughter with little help is showing me the strength I never knew existed in myself. Maybe all of this is for a greater good. 

I could be completely wrong. This could all just be life being thrown at me for no good reason. But I choose to look through rose colored glasses. I choose to believe the best. I choose to see the beauty in every situation. 

If you're facing a storm, know that there is peace in the midst of it. You're never alone, for God is always in your corner. Ask him what it is he wants you to learn during those times that feel so hard. Knowing HE has a perfect plan will always ease your mind, and make that storm seem like nothing. After all, you belong to the one who calms the seas. Rest easy. 

Crys

DO UNTO OTHERS

Aside from the opinion of my darling husband, I've often been told that I am incredibly nice. This wonderful compliment has come from family, friends, strangers, colleagues, and a variety of others. At one point in my life, I would pride myself on being overly kind to others. I wore it as a badge of honor. But life has a way of changing us, and I soon went from being proud of my kindness, to seeing it as my greatest weakness. 

I remember talking with a coworker about how my career wasn't moving at the speed nor in the direction that I wanted it to. She mentioned my flexibility, and how I'm "too nice." Something about those words stuck with me. It made me feel weak. It made me feel taken advantage of. I began to analyze every part of my life and started to think the reason that I always felt insignificant was because I was too nice, and didn't demand the attention and respect of others like I needed to. 

I started thinking that it was unfair that I am so giving of myself. I became a bit resentful because it often felt like I am always on the giving end, but never the receiving. I've battled with these thoughts for awhile, until I came across a simple scripture that reminded me of what I have been commanded to do. 

The bible simply tells us "Do unto others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6:31)" It doesn't tell us to love or give or serve with stipulations. It doesn't tell us to keep count of how much we've done, or the kindness we extend to others. It plainly tells us to treat others the way we desire to be treated.

We live in a time where many don't hold these values. Our generation only gives in hopes of somehow benefitting themselves. We say "kick rocks" to those who don't love us as much as we love them. Kindness is seen as a trait of the weak. But we are not of the world. We were commanded to be different. 

In such a callous world, what is needed is kindness. Service to others. Gratitude. Love without condition. While many see it as a flaw, I know that these things make me unique and give me pride in being the woman God has commanded me to be. 

Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with commanding respect and equality or advocating for yourself if you've been wronged. But there is even more peace when you can do these things while keeping your integrity, class, and kindheartedness. 

When you feel that you are giving too much, doing too much, or being taken advantage of...remember that you were commanded to do so. Try a touch of kindness today. Don't be like the world, be set apart. Be the light that we all need. 

 

TIME WELL SPENT

Like many wonder women, I wear many hats. It seems like there is never enough time in the day to complete the TRILLION things required of me. From sun up to sundown, I'm being pulled in a bunch of different directions, following a strict routine, and just trying to GET IT DONE! 

As I stated in a prior blog, I've had this constant feeling of emptiness, or feeling like something is missing. Then suddenly it hit me and I started to reevaluate how I'm spending my time. Needless to say, I quickly realized some adjustments need to be made right away. 

We often prioritize our days, our weeks, our lives. We try our best to plan ahead for things to come. But we often forget to plan time for THE most important of our life. Spending quality time with God. We get wrapped up in being so "busy" moving through our days, that we leave behind the one who gives us strength to tackle and enjoy each day we are given. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm an imperfect Christian. I LOVE ME SOME JESUS, but I too get caught up in daily tasks and neglect opportunities to really devote myself to God's word and quality time with him.

I remember when I was completely broken hearted. I would literally spend every free moment praying, reading God's word, pleading with God to heal my heart. He did just that. As I sought him, he gave me the desires of my heart. He kept his promises to me by renewing my joy and helping me find true happiness that wasn't given by anyone else. And you know what? As soon as he did, I forgot about how precious my time is with him. How awful is that?

Now, that feeling has returned. Not brokenheartedness, but just an emptiness that was only filled through God's loved. It tells me that it's time to rethink my priorities and place HIM at the top of the list. 

Don't get me wrong. It's not easy to take a second to yourself as a mommy, wife, working woman, and so much more. But people create time for what they desire. My heart desires Christ! I want to be so full of him, that there is no room for anything else! The only way to achieve that is through time well spent together. 

I encourage to ask yourself what you're devoting your time to. Is it Christ? Is it even things that are encouraging and moving you to a higher place? Have you become so "routined" that you've forgotten him too? If so, it's time to rethink your priorities. MAKE TIME to spend with God. Make time to get to know his promises. I can guarantee it will be time well spent! 

 

THE DANGER IN COMPARISON

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. (GALATIANS 1:10)

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. (GALATIANS 1:10)

The other day, I almost fell deep into my feelings. As usual, I was scrolling through various social media sites, trying to catch up with my favorite bloggers. I came across a particular page, and I found myself absolutely absorbed in the life of a complete stranger. It seemed like she had it all; beauty, fabulous clothes, an attractive, loving husband, an awesome career as a blogger, AND gorgeous children to top it all off. Crazily enough, I became a little bit jealous. I found myself comparing my life to someone I'd never met before. 

It's happened to many of us, especially as women. We see the girl that's "prettier", more in shape, better off financially, or with the picture perfect relationship. We start questioning our own situations and feeling like somehow, we aren't good enough because we don't have what someone else does. 

Funny enough, I made all of these conclusions about my life and how I needed to "do better" before I even read this woman's blog. I simply saw beautiful pictures and assumed that my life just wasn't up to par. Once I took the time to read, I saw her story and realized how she had suffered through domestic violence, had abortions and miscarriages, and was homeless prior to discovering a relationship with Christ and letting HIM create this amazing life for her. 

I say all this to say that comparison is a dangerous place to allow yourself to be in. There's absolutely nothing wrong with striving for more, but I can't stress enough the importance of seeing the beauty in the season you are in RIGHT NOW.

The woman with the "perfect" husband is being abused. 

The woman with the ideal career has no time for her family.

The woman who is a blossoming socialite is lonely and wishing for a family of her own. 

For all you know, the very person whose life you're wishing for is praying for the things you currently have. 

Ask yourself, who is it that you want to be like? If the answer isn't Christ, change your focus. When you allow God to lead you he'll truly give you the desires of your heart. Step back, and don't fall into the trap of comparison. Be grateful for where you are right now, and work for the things you want later. Love the life God has created just for YOU!

 

SEE BEAUTY

I remember the days I prayed for the things I have now. -Unknown    

I remember the days I prayed for the things I have now. -Unknown 

 

I have to admit, I've been completely off my game lately. I'm usually calm and composed, but recently I've had to give myself lots of heart checks to reset my attitude, focus, and gratefulness.

I've had this lingering feeling of being overwhelmed and yet feeling like I'm missing out on something better. This is in part due to being a wife, a mom, and a working woman pursuing her dreams! I feel like I'm constantly at work for my family and my career, so I often don't get a moment to just enjoy being me (I'm working on it). Ultimately, as selfish as it may seem I started to feel like I am missing out on the fun, care free life I once had. 

I was quickly reminded by a close friend that I once prayed for all of the things I have now. I remember looking for love and praying for a Godly husband. I remember wanting a baby so badly. I remember being broke and wishing for a successful career. And God granted me all of that and so much more! How dare I complain?

My heart checks challenge me to SEE BEAUTY in everything life sends my way. When my house is a mess, I am still grateful to have a home. When I don't have a moment to myself, I'm grateful to be so loved by my daughter that she never wants to leave my side. When it seems like my to-do list will never end, I'm grateful for the power to do ALL THINGS through Christ. I'm grateful. For it all.

I challenge you to SEE BEAUTY in the things that seem hard or overwhelming for you. Those things will pass and will be memories. Live in the moment, and tackle each day with a heart full of GRATITUDE! 

Be Still...

He says, "Be still and know that I am God"...  

Psalms 46:10

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Have you ever felt like you're invisible? Purposeless? Not living up to your full potential?

Lately I've been extremely hard on myself. As a self proclaimed planner, I often set timelines for goals in my personal life as well as career. When those things don't go as planned, I find myself feeling like I've failed, when in reality that isn't the case. 

Stepping out on faith is hard. Simply put. You wonder why people aren't supporting you. You wonder why things aren't  moving faster. You wonder if every opportunity for greatness is just going to pass you by.  

After a serious heart check, I remembered the words "Be still and know." God's timing is perfect. His path is perfect. His will is perfect. Many times we can't see why he's delaying that new job, that relationship, that instant success...but I know for a fact that his hands are the best place for my life to be. Whatever the reason, I find peace in knowing that the path and life he has designed for me WILL be granted to me if I continue to stay in his will. 

Stop doubting. Stop worrying. Stop fearing the worst. Know that the God of heaven and earth loves you incredibly! Even when you fail, he won't!  

Be still and watch God work on your behalf!  

Crys

MOVING MOUNTAINS

 

Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20)

It's interesting that we are the last ones to believe in ourselves. Over the past few years, I've had several friends, family members, and even strangers asking why I've never considered blogging. Thing is, I have. I've tried it, and dropped the ball when I felt like no one was interested. I've made up every excuse in the world from being tired to being uninspired. I've battled with sharing my story because of what people would think, and how they might look at me differently moving forward. I've doubted myself over and over. 

Finally, I've realized that this isn't about ME. It's about God's power working through me, and the love that HE wants me to share. I won't lie and pretend that I'm not afraid, but now my FAITH is bigger than my fear. I have a story to tell, and fear is no longer an option. 

As I step out on faith, I hope you join me in moving mountains and living the fabulous life God has designed for us! 

Crys